To be straight forward and honest today was a really good day. Mainly because we didn’t celebrate or reflect solely on Mother’s Day (due to Covid-19,) like we normally do, so it actually made it much more enjoyable day. I was sad I didn’t get to see my mom today, but I’ll Lord willing see her later this week.
This morning I did have a time of tears due to so many reminding me of what today was. Not blaming anyone for wishing me well today, I did the same to them, first. I appreciate it a lot, actually. I had a ton of Happy Mothers Day well wishes, even by my sweet husband. Oftentimes I don’t feel like I deserve such sweet well wishes. Because that title just doesn’t seem to fit me, since my arms are empty though my heart is overflowing.
I do get why people do. Some do it out of kindness, some do it because it’s a nice gesture, most do it because they love me and know just how much it means to me, some don’t do it at all and I think because they don’t see my arms full or it makes them uncomfortable because they may have insecurities about children dying and my talking about it makes them uncomfortable so they don’t. Or they feel like I don’t understand what it truly means to be a mom. An honest to goodness mother one with living, breathing children. I get that. Because honestly, all I know is the pregnant side and the worst case scenario side.
I’m thankful to those that do wish it every year. It truly means a lot. Those that do it that have a true sense of how much it really means to people like me who have lost where it hurts the most. To you, dear people, thank you! It means a whole lot to me. And it reminds me of the goodness of the Lord and what He has done for us during these difficult days.
One thing I’ve noticed over these past 6 years of being a mom of empty arms is one little saying that we mothers say that I really wish would stop. (I’ve been guilty of this too).
One thing I wish mother’s would stop saying about their babies, the ones that make it to term, I wish they would stop using the term as “promised babies” or “rainbow babies” (I used to do it too). Just like everyone on this earth, we are not promised tomorrow or even today. Saying your child is a promised baby or a rainbow baby is such a painful saying to say, especially around those who have lost theirs as if ours were not promised or a gift.
I get why people say it, because they may have lost a baby before so this one becomes their “promised” baby. But no one is promised today or tomorrow. The fact of the matter is, that life no matter what, is precious and such a great privilege. Every baby that is born, whether they make it or not, is a promised baby, a rainbow baby, a gift. Having lived through three deaths of my babies, I see them as a gift, a gift that keeps on giving, though sad and terrible as it was at the time, they lived for EXACTLY the time that they needed to. They touched our hearts. They were promised and in trusted to my womb for the time appointed to them by their Maker, our Heavenly Father. They may not have lived to term but they were promised and they were just as special and just as loved as the next baby. 💕
To say otherwise is like saying God only blesses those mothers but he doesn’t bless those of us who’ve lost. God is good, no matter what. Who He chooses to ordain with a quiver full is not up to us to say. But they are each a blessing in of themselves, no matter how long or short lived on earth. God is good ALL the time.
I say that to say, that every baby deserves the name of a promised baby. Not just those that live a full and healthy life outside the womb. Babies die in the womb everyday and are never considered the term promised by their own mothers or even deemed a miracle to many. You don’t have to look very far to see how very wrong that very much is. We have all been fearfully and wonderfully made by our Creator and King of Kings! Not one dies without His notice. Jesus loved all the little children and never wished the disciples to shoo them away.
Each life in trusted to us is a gift with a promise. Every new life is beautiful! To those of you who have lost a baby. Please know, I see you and am thinking of you in my prayers, and remember; your baby was well loved a gift and a beautiful rainbow baby, too! 💕
Happy Mother’s Day!